tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12560910106905234572024-03-05T16:51:42.599-08:00The Etiquette GuyJay Remer - Canada's Etiquette Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00540919687490904924noreply@blogger.comBlogger220125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1256091010690523457.post-68091700667485267812020-09-11T06:54:00.001-07:002020-09-11T06:54:40.887-07:00Following the Golden Rule with Andrew Faas: E14 - "A to M Review"<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/7HJ3D1m88yA" width="480"></iframe>Jay Remer - Canada's Etiquette Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00540919687490904924noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1256091010690523457.post-76662475579339764872020-09-11T06:48:00.001-07:002020-09-11T06:48:05.252-07:00Following the Golden Rule with Andrew Faas: E14 - "A to M Review"<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/7HJ3D1m88yA" width="480"></iframe>Jay Remer - Canada's Etiquette Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00540919687490904924noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1256091010690523457.post-91509743419475458662020-08-10T07:47:00.005-07:002020-08-10T07:47:58.765-07:00Following the Golden Rule with Andrew Faas: E9 - 'I' is for Inclusion<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/ik6fXOl5mHY" width="480"></iframe>Jay Remer - Canada's Etiquette Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00540919687490904924noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1256091010690523457.post-91039638973215961352020-08-10T07:47:00.003-07:002020-08-10T07:47:37.994-07:00Following the Golden Rule with Andrew Faas: E07 - 'G' is for Grateful<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/yBv2-23k28k" width="480"></iframe>Jay Remer - Canada's Etiquette Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00540919687490904924noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1256091010690523457.post-13064472145768475662020-08-10T07:47:00.001-07:002020-08-10T07:47:17.843-07:00Following the Golden Rule with Andrew Faas: E06 - 'F' is for Fair<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/k1DsX-q9r9o" width="480"></iframe>Jay Remer - Canada's Etiquette Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00540919687490904924noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1256091010690523457.post-77164214233047364642020-08-10T07:46:00.003-07:002020-08-10T07:46:51.470-07:00Following the Golden Rule with Andrew Faas: E05 - 'E' is for Emotionally Intelligent.<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/UmwFHd7MeQU" width="480"></iframe>Jay Remer - Canada's Etiquette Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00540919687490904924noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1256091010690523457.post-28977884620968643872020-08-10T07:46:00.001-07:002020-08-10T07:46:03.392-07:00Following the Golden Rule with Andy Faas: E04 'D' is for Dependable<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/dSYFSLxKwi0" width="480"></iframe>Jay Remer - Canada's Etiquette Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00540919687490904924noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1256091010690523457.post-8005938060730687032020-08-10T07:42:00.004-07:002020-08-10T07:43:22.475-07:00Following the Golden Rule with Andrew Faas E02 - 'B' is for Believable<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/JOWodIR4X8I" width="480"></iframe>Jay Remer - Canada's Etiquette Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00540919687490904924noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1256091010690523457.post-25163452947112759312020-08-10T07:42:00.003-07:002020-08-10T07:42:56.283-07:00Following the Golden Rule with Andy Faas: E03 'C' is for Courageous<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Gh_Y_sogMVQ" width="480"></iframe>Jay Remer - Canada's Etiquette Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00540919687490904924noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1256091010690523457.post-34768729395496966682020-08-10T07:41:00.002-07:002020-08-10T07:45:11.555-07:00Following the Golden Rule with Andrew Faas E01 'A' is for <iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/KI1PGA-nv0o" width="480"></iframe>Jay Remer - Canada's Etiquette Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00540919687490904924noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1256091010690523457.post-34423703412829029822018-06-27T08:43:00.001-07:002018-06-27T08:43:56.922-07:00Handling Wedding Expenses<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
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" 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<span style="font-size: 14pt;">The cost of weddings can be daunting in today’s economic climate, where excess can, in some cases, overtake the true meaning of the marriage ceremony. Unfortunately, the hope for a special occasion can become quite a disappointment when budgetary limits are reached or exceeded before you’ve even reached the half way mark in planning. The stark reality, which most people must face, is not without its silver lining however.</span><span style="font-size: 14pt;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Working within a comfortable budget is essential. By comfortable, I mean a budget that does not require mortgaging the house, going into deep debt or suffering in any way. Do you remember experiencing this kind of ‘comfortable’ for the first time? For some of us, this is a way of life; for others, just thinking about it is challenging. I have written about compassion in these columns many times over the years. Planning your wedding should go near the top of the list for when compassion comes in handy. You need to be very real about this process because the consequences of being too tough on yourself can ruin this special occasion. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;">There are usual expenses for formal weddings that create awkward moments when the responsibility of who is paying for what has not been agreed upon from the start. Granted, many couples first marry at a slightly older age than before, although marrying under the age of twenty is not uncommon. Older couples are often better established financially than younger couples, and as a result feel a greater responsibility to at least help pay for the cost of their wedding, especially if it is to be an event. There are no rules for how this should or should not be handled. Common sense and trusting your inner wisdom both help.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Today, every marriage has its own character, and as long as the process is handled gracefully, creativity and flexibility can be unleashed. Traditionally, there is a gathering of the bridesmaids and the bride two nights before the wedding for a fun ‘girls’ party, which can take on almost any shape and form. The same ‘stag’ party is enjoyed by the groom and his groomsmen. These parties are often paid for by the fathers of the bride or groom. The parents of the groom host the rehearsal dinner, generally reserved for close family and out of town special guests. The parents of the bride host the wedding and reception following. As you know, these expenses can become impossible and much smaller weddings are becoming the norm across the board. The guide above can be extrapolated to fit most weddings and many other special occasions.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Once you do decide on your comfortable budget, my advice is to have the best version of whatever kind of celebration you can within that budget. Memories are made from the beautiful moments with friends much more so than the surroundings. We want to remember those moments with smiles on our faces. I have advised many couples, gay and straight, on wedding plans. In gay weddings, frankly the only difference from a traditional wedding is that there are two husbands or two wives. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;">There is always one thought that I share with all of them, no matter what. Don’t let the trappings of the celebration outshine, in your mind, the significance of the uniqueness of your union. The union is what is special. The trappings are a bonus. So, be sure not to allow finances to cast dark clouds on something so special. Celebrate celebrating comfortably.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Bridesmaids can experience overwhelm some years when many of their friends are marrying and want them to stand up for them. Questions arise around the responsibility for the expenses bridesmaids have, and which ones should be paid for by the bride. Similar discussions can arise on the groom’s side as well. Once again, there are no hard and fast rules today because circumstances vary so. Traditionally, however, the bride would pay for her bridesmaids’ dresses and shoes, hair and nails, and accommodation, but not transportation. When possible, this should still be preferred, as the financial burden on a young person would be unreasonable in most cases. Finances can be a very difficult topic to discuss, but discussing it brings great clarity and peace. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Who doesn’t love being invited to a wedding? When you receive an invitation, be sure to RSVP as soon as possible, certainly within a week or two of receiving it. If you accept the invitation, you should be sure to go to the wedding. And be sure to remember to bring or send a gift you can comfortably afford. Do not be pressured into spending more money than you can reasonably budget for such expenses. A lot of the stress around the whole wedding scene would be greatly reduced if we remind ourselves of The Golden Rule. And, have gratitude because with compassion and kindness comes trust and friendship.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<img alt="Image result for prince harry and meghan markle wedding" class="rg_ic rg_i" id="yuQvXmKBQ3DFSM:" jsaction="load:str.tbn" 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<span style="font-size: 14pt;">I would like to write a few words in honor of the royal wedding taking place today in Windsor. Thank you to Their Royal Highnesses for setting such a sparkling example of compassion, kindness and love for us all to admire and aspire to. I hope your many happy years together allow you to share your joy throughout the world. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Jay Remer - Canada's Etiquette Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00540919687490904924noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1256091010690523457.post-52589736048698750272018-06-03T03:28:00.001-07:002018-06-03T03:28:28.549-07:00Civil Discourse - Essential to a Civil Society<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Cambria, serif; font-size: 14pt;">Communication is one of the most fundamental actions human beings undertake. We are in fact dependent upon such actions for our very survival. Logically, the better we are at communicating with one another, the safer and more civil our society is. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Cambria, serif; font-size: 14pt;">Communication skills follow the general cultural temperament of the community. If the culture is based in fear, as ours now is, communication can be reduced to an inflexible state where you are either right or wrong, where civil debate is impossible, and where discussions about uncomfortable topics turn into knock down drag out fights.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Cambria, serif; font-size: 14pt;">This dynamic is true at home, in the workplace, and socially. Frustration and anger are often the result of this vitriolic discourse. We all have experienced this; most of us have been guilty of it; and none of us particularly enjoy it. But as with so many challenges we face in the constantly changing world we live in, the abnormal has become normalized, accepted, and even promoted. This is indeed a sorry state of affairs and if something doesn’t happen soon, a revolution of sorts is inevitable. Some will argue such a revolution is already underway.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Cambria, serif; font-size: 14pt;">I strongly urge everyone to become more familiar with the concepts of compassion and self-compassion, for it is by clearly understanding them that there is the greatest chance for the greatest number of people to incorporate civil discourse into their lives. Compassion is the ability to relate to the suffering of others, to feel empathetic towards them, and to allow them to choose their path without judging them. We would hope, following the Golden Rule, that they would do the same for us. Self-compassion is far more challenging to us because we have to look inward and take full responsibility for all of our words and actions – all of them. We are our own worst enemies and taking responsibility for ourselves is so filled with judgment that we tend to spend a lot of valuable time seeking a place outside of ourselves to lay the blame for our suffering.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Cambria, serif; font-size: 14pt;">I was recently struck by an article in the Telegraph Journal about a rainbow sidewalk for Sussex. There was some strong disagreement over this issue, which has caused some controversies in other communities. The sad part about this disagreement was the apparent necessity for participants to reduce the discussion to a religious brawl. I am one person who feels that everyone has a right to their own beliefs and the ability to express those beliefs. Where the rub comes is when all perspectives in the discussion take the position that they are right and everyone else is wrong. I am also one person who learned in the sandbox that not everyone is always right or always wrong in any argument. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Cambria, serif; font-size: 14pt;">The saddest part of that situation was that those who were most vocal and extreme in expressing their views were supposed to be leaders in the community. Clearly, whatever leadership qualities they may have had took a leave of absence. The collateral damage of mean-spirited arguments cloaked in the guise of Christianity, which they demonstrated was grossly misunderstood, is immeasurable but profound. Thankfully, the majority could not be swayed by the careless argument and the sidewalk was installed post haste the next day.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Cambria, serif; font-size: 14pt;">So, what do we do to make the necessary shift from black and white to grey? First, we must understand that it is simply not possible to have a rational discussion when we are in a heightened emotional state. We can shift from an excited state to a calmer state by breathing and removing all judgment. We usually resist both of these actions however, and therein lies the problem. It’s not easy; it requires courage, compassion and respect for everyone. Most of us are in such a state of fear for a variety of survival-based reasons that we just can’t budge.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Cambria, serif; font-size: 14pt;">I cannot encourage you strongly enough to make communicating civilly your highest priority. Your children will benefit and learn by good example how to go forth in the world and live fulfilling lives, to which we all have a right. Your relationships with your life partner and close friends will benefit because you will no longer have the need to be right all the time. Your co-workers and subordinates will benefit for similar reasons. Most importantly, you will benefit by living a far less stressful life, where exhaling and thriving are the norms, not the exceptions.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Cambria, serif; font-size: 14pt;">May I suggest you try doing what one of my mentors does – collect as many perspectives as possible. By being open to what other people have to say, you might surprise yourself by the amount of common ground you have with others. You may find validation of your perspective. You may find a compromise position that results in a win-win outcome. Keep an open mind; don’t judge yourself or others; and remember to always, always follow The Golden Rule. Had the folks in Sussex tried this, any suffering may have been avoided. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Jay Remer - Canada's Etiquette Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00540919687490904924noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1256091010690523457.post-17055457681644796922018-05-28T15:24:00.002-07:002018-05-28T15:24:33.827-07:00Please and Thank You Is Only a Start<div class="MsoNormal">
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 14.0pt;">I could not help
but notice the recent headline in this paper stating that New Brunswick is
Canada’s most polite province. Diving right into the article, I quickly
realized that this grand pronouncement was based on the percentage of
businesses that say please and thank you in email communication. As wonderful
as the headline sounds, 15 percent of the 250,000 examined emails that include
please and thank you is hardly a ringing endorsement for politeness. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Saying please and
thank you is what we are supposed to be taught as soon as we learn to speak.
The fact that so few of us use these phrases in business communication explains
at least in part why the general culture in the North American workplace is not
polite but is fear-based.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 14.0pt;">A work environment
must go far beyond simple platitudes to qualify as truly polite. An organization
that provides a safe work space for all of its employees, one in which
encouragement and appropriate support are a part of the culture, qualifies. An
organization where high employee retention is reflective of a high morale
qualifies. An organization where employees speak highly of their job and of their
boss qualifies. An organization where civil debate and respectful communication
occurs qualifies. An organization where an employee has someone to turn to if
unnecessary stress, harassment, or abuse rears its ugly head qualifies. And, an
organization where every point of human interaction is a positive one
qualifies.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 14.0pt;">If you look at
these qualifiers within your own organization or place of work, what answers do
you discover? Dismally low ratings are revealed on an almost daily basis, with
survey after survey uncovering the ugly truth. Mental Health America and the
Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence have both conducted such surveys in
partnership with Canada’s Faas Foundation that indicate that less than 25
percent of employees are fully engaged in their work or speak highly of their
boss or the organization for which they work. And the remaining 75 percent are
actively looking for other work.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 14.0pt;">These are facts
that cannot be refuted. They are however clear indicators for where we need to
look to begin to fix this colossal problem. It’s not much of a stretch to see
what a long road we have to travel to have businesses that qualify as being
truly polite. Although please and thank you are a start, companies need to
understand the interconnectedness between our life at work and our life outside
of work. Given that most of us spend more of our waking hours at work than we
do at home with our families and friends, I suggest that significantly more
attention needs to be focused on our workplace culture.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Most human
resource trainings, though regularly offered, seldom have any lasting impact.
The reason for this is a lack of desire at the top to welcome any real change.
If this desire to maintain the status quo is the experience you are coping
with, you have little choice but to change jobs. Given that 75 percent of the
workforce is in this situation, it’s a scary jungle out there. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 14.0pt;">As scary as the
landscape may be, it is up to you/us to make choices for ourselves that help
steer us to a more fulfilled life. Employers need to refocus their thinking
from simply being a place that is offering work to anyone qualified, to a place
of excellence, where there is little turnover and a line-up of potential
employees seeking work because of the way everyone is treated. That would
qualify as polite.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 14.0pt;">There is an effort
afoot within the province to become the innovative province. I have my doubts
that leadership found within the government has the ability to accomplish this
without a tremendous amount of input from the public at large that they will
listen to and implement when appropriate. My doubt comes from the number of
fundamental challenges facing the province that have gone unresolved for
generations. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 14.0pt;">If one looks at
poverty, education, and access to quality healthcare, the steep hill to climb
ahead of us is daunting. These challenges will not go away without significant
effort. This requires realigning priorities from community to community.
Without changing the water on the beans, you can expect the status quo to
continue. The weakest links in our society will continue to be marginalized and
not given the assistance needed to achieve a real change. Not until this real
change occurs do we deserve to be dubbed as polite.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Please and thank
you is a start. What will you do to carry the conversation further?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Jay Remer - Canada's Etiquette Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00540919687490904924noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1256091010690523457.post-60281227545244135132018-03-10T04:02:00.000-08:002018-03-10T04:02:11.209-08:00Moving From Fear to Calm<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAbhjOmZ8KNqIpHf7UcspFTmNbCm80l1Y7rKWDtzZHNkQEN_Bvi0wi4NFCQ4OmPsPefYxDxcooK8lLyjX2plfYGBI2DSNKb8tBLZCbHNzDPjYKpIPogjfP1eGG3QTQETOv91DACYzSFmk/s1600/canadian+flag.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="159" data-original-width="318" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAbhjOmZ8KNqIpHf7UcspFTmNbCm80l1Y7rKWDtzZHNkQEN_Bvi0wi4NFCQ4OmPsPefYxDxcooK8lLyjX2plfYGBI2DSNKb8tBLZCbHNzDPjYKpIPogjfP1eGG3QTQETOv91DACYzSFmk/s1600/canadian+flag.png" /></a></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 14.0pt;">I had the privilege of teaching my fourth
group of recent immigrants who are aspiring entrepreneurs. As part of the
Business Immigrant Mentoring Program (BIMP), this group of nine participants
were, as usual, had plenty of questions for me to help them to understand the
business culture in Canada. Surprisingly, most of the questions that these
budding entrepreneurs asked were very similar to questions posed by
non-immigrants. The two most prevalent common themes that emerged were the
importance of learning to communicate effectively and the need to make
connections that can further their businesses. What also came to light was that
the fact that fear of making mistakes in achieving their goals around these two
themes was the biggest obstacle to success. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 14.0pt;">This same fear is prevalent in the North
American workforce. Two studies by the Faas Foundation in partnership with
Mental health America and the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence have shown
that over 70% of the entire workforce are not fulfilled in their jobs, do not
speak highly of their bosses, and are looking for other </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 14.0pt;">jobs. Sadly, this
dynamic produces a culture of fear where bullying and unnecessary stress are
the underlying reasons for 120,000 deaths per year due to stress at work in
addition to the loss of productivity that translates to a $1.5 trillion loss to
the economy annually. These statistics cannot be ignored if there is going to
be any hope to bring civility and success into the workplace.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 14.0pt;">How do we move from a culture of fear to
one where the workplace is psychologically safe, healthy and fair? This
requires a conscious effort by all concerned to want to see a change. There
must be a desire by enough people to embrace the ethic of reciprocity (The
Golden Rule) and employ common sense.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPugqKCHmG5JAJRPLfrUBhQI-HHPIIrBtlD5M5iX-LhAR_kLmvcCdypbDtJnft25NJ9DVldCMi-9SmMcZfz4Aci6RjGY7OOpsrh1d0OHcn_KWJ7c3laT14msROegSrEEBnq_mht5IZNN8/s1600/golden+rule.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="194" data-original-width="259" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPugqKCHmG5JAJRPLfrUBhQI-HHPIIrBtlD5M5iX-LhAR_kLmvcCdypbDtJnft25NJ9DVldCMi-9SmMcZfz4Aci6RjGY7OOpsrh1d0OHcn_KWJ7c3laT14msROegSrEEBnq_mht5IZNN8/s1600/golden+rule.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 14.0pt;">The path to creating such a cultural
revolution must always begin with us. We are reminded of this ever time we
board an airplane. The flight attendant’s command is that when the airbag drops
down due to a change in cabin pressure, place the mask on your face first, then
assist others. This is how life works in general. We must be sure to have our
own ‘house’ in order before we can effectively be of any assistance to anyone
else. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Perhaps I am a slow learner; perhaps I am
incredibly stubborn; perhaps my resistance to change is where my commitments
lie, but up until recently, I have poo-pooed the importance of the breathing.
Odd that we need to breathe to stay alive, yet when we can use this automatic
function in a purposeful way, we can actually change our ‘world’ from fear to
calm. We have all heard the directive, ‘now just calm down’. That is one of
those friendly suggestions that so often fall on deaf ears simply because we
have no idea how to actually accomplish this! Breathing is one very practical
and successful answer. Try this the next time you are feeling stressed. Four
nice long even breaths and a feeling of calm will begin to replace the fear and
panic. And, we can then begin to process rational thoughts and figure stuff out
again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuS6vkNGR19qJyYCxfcfw0qYpmfAAL4gYslmo1_JBSLSH5Wcs_9tVQgKBhiOLEuer7s_zTSXFuQtBWWo490cNJzYP4lrRpRUoVkkfbHQCia3jg4kSWw5wvfu1J8bxmgITuPDrp-g_wotI/s1600/deep+breathing.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="183" data-original-width="275" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuS6vkNGR19qJyYCxfcfw0qYpmfAAL4gYslmo1_JBSLSH5Wcs_9tVQgKBhiOLEuer7s_zTSXFuQtBWWo490cNJzYP4lrRpRUoVkkfbHQCia3jg4kSWw5wvfu1J8bxmgITuPDrp-g_wotI/s1600/deep+breathing.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Once you have regained balance and are
centered within yourself, encourage others within your circle to do the same. A
calm state of mind allows us to more easily show respect to one another and to
listen to what others have to say.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 14.0pt;">This change of behaviour is proving useful
in schools. Schools are introducing time outs in the form of meditation breaks.
This translates directly to the workplace as well. Many organizations are
providing quiet rooms where people can take some time to regain their composure
after a particularly challenging interaction with a co-worker or employer. A
calm mind achieves clear thinking. A fearful mind thinks only of surviving the
immediate moment. This is no way to live.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 14.0pt;">I really want to encourage everyone to
honestly look at your life and ask yourself if you like what you are doing –
both personally and professionally. Then go further and ask yourself why. If
you aren’t feeling fulfilled or even safe, you need to be aware of this, and
know that you can change this. Some of us may need to change jobs; some of us
may need to edit our list of friends; some may realize that a professional
counsellor would be helpful. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjViBLu0CzeCKJo2nj8mzOBAx1HdpHjM-4rE5ligF335pqVpKZeKpktdbOXmhlPVB9ISDVxK7CPb2HFMoDPXBtFp8bpRk33UCgyVLWfKL4Dok0XLYBpk5CghlPcJPyIPS1wH-pYnY9bknQ/s1600/choose+to+have+a+great+day.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="194" data-original-width="259" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjViBLu0CzeCKJo2nj8mzOBAx1HdpHjM-4rE5ligF335pqVpKZeKpktdbOXmhlPVB9ISDVxK7CPb2HFMoDPXBtFp8bpRk33UCgyVLWfKL4Dok0XLYBpk5CghlPcJPyIPS1wH-pYnY9bknQ/s1600/choose+to+have+a+great+day.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 14.0pt;">All of these choices are big changes for us
to make. We need to remember to have compassion for those who are making our
lives too challenging. We must also have compassion for ourselves. We are all
human beings. We need to connect with one another for our very survival. But
the people with whom we connect are our choice.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Jay Remer - Canada's Etiquette Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00540919687490904924noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1256091010690523457.post-45642323098717774052017-11-23T07:50:00.000-08:002017-11-23T07:50:31.938-08:00Pets and the Holidays<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZhQ9d1Ln8xeb7Rz_dRCpqr-3eRLPisqvl6k0ZXOAozKHW0fi2p_H0_tvYwbp-llIIQioL9SYnDJNJzxdD3SZOSYTdX8Bf1XgrNlpFj8rkP3hPyW3ptkuQwsJusDFk5Jg2Vtn3TwrgoIo/s1600/pets+and+the+holidays.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="177" data-original-width="285" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZhQ9d1Ln8xeb7Rz_dRCpqr-3eRLPisqvl6k0ZXOAozKHW0fi2p_H0_tvYwbp-llIIQioL9SYnDJNJzxdD3SZOSYTdX8Bf1XgrNlpFj8rkP3hPyW3ptkuQwsJusDFk5Jg2Vtn3TwrgoIo/s1600/pets+and+the+holidays.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Some of our fondest memories are those
times we spend with our beloved pets. Christmas is a time of year when we want
our pets to be included as much as possible. We have cards created that include
images of us with our pets; often all dressed up like Santa’s reindeer.</span><span style="font-size: 14pt;"> </span><span style="font-size: 14pt;">We celebrate and record these wonderful
holidays and the deep connections we have with all family members, including
our pets.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 14.0pt;">It’s important to remember that animals do
not have the same understanding of the holidays that we have.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They will recognize that ‘life as usual’
changes into a sometimes confusing series of events that include new people and
an irregular schedule. For some dogs and cats, these tumultuous times can be
frightening. As responsible pet owners, it is our duty to be sure that any
negative experiences are kept to a minimum. Many dogs love the holidays because
there’s almost always food and everyone is in such a sharing mood that ‘treats’
were plentiful. As amusing as this may seem, serious consequences can result
when dogs overeat or eat a ‘new to them’ combination of foods that can create
havoc.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8NUhq38NRwtc1F_alXM4_dxPBg0PZoaj2Px1y2ub3_QmF0fqNfcF0d62jnmL3Xc1lqxWeBca0N6mHLwvjEp_HOOkX7fg6SLPPPLLnMwNKbUHu0g6_z_qxyknwpLPOqAZHObj-AEj8g_k/s1600/dog+bones.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="194" data-original-width="259" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8NUhq38NRwtc1F_alXM4_dxPBg0PZoaj2Px1y2ub3_QmF0fqNfcF0d62jnmL3Xc1lqxWeBca0N6mHLwvjEp_HOOkX7fg6SLPPPLLnMwNKbUHu0g6_z_qxyknwpLPOqAZHObj-AEj8g_k/s1600/dog+bones.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Years ago, I lived in a large house with
many dogs. We usually had eight dogs living in the house and a very scheduled
routine was the most effective way to incorporate that many dogs into a
comfortable household. We always shared little treats of food from the table
with them. They quickly learned that begging at the table was neither necessary
nor was it tolerated. A few treats followed by a quiet verbal ‘ go lie down’
did the trick. But there was never a meal that went by without sharing with our
entire family.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Not everyone welcomes animals into their
homes. There are a variety of compelling reasons for them to have such house
rules. I am constantly asked about how to tell people, including their own
children, that their pets are not welcome. My advice is always to be honest and
up front. The governing rule of etiquette here is that one’s home is one’s
castle. This means the house rules that are in place should not be questioned
and should be adhered to by everyone. During the holidays, travelling with pets
to visit friends and family is challenging and stressful for all parties
involved. Any travel plans that involve your pets should be crystal clear with
your hosts. And you need to be vigilant about grooming; cleaning up after
exercising, and keeping food and water bowls clean and out of the way.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiy-Oyo4x07sCuRJ7E1NSBeRwH5tj8FMQQ12KNSf_lwbkkAi5CFu_9p5rrDH0BPBiqbbwUORxM5fPz1aBhQkLEtkEGjQ_lbftDvp0XvziRJ5bmF9zp3yr9AelFP0MpipqeUkXozP2kHblE/s1600/clean+up+after+your+dog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="194" data-original-width="259" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiy-Oyo4x07sCuRJ7E1NSBeRwH5tj8FMQQ12KNSf_lwbkkAi5CFu_9p5rrDH0BPBiqbbwUORxM5fPz1aBhQkLEtkEGjQ_lbftDvp0XvziRJ5bmF9zp3yr9AelFP0MpipqeUkXozP2kHblE/s1600/clean+up+after+your+dog.jpg" /></a></div>
<o:p></o:p><br />
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Children and pets are not always a great
match, especially during the holidays. Children are generally excited and
celebrating with new toys and more than enough candy to keep them wound up for
hours. Dogs and cats need their own space and quiet time. They will lose their
patience with small children, who know no better. I recommend that children be taught
to be calm around dogs and cats, especially those that they do not know. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Pets almost always make terrible Christmas
presents for children. I understand how cute the whole thing sounds, but from
the perspective of the trauma the puppy or kitten is enduring, we need to
rethink this idea. You suddenly realize two days later that you are the new
caretaker of the newest member of the family. I have told people how this
dynamic works, and they realize that shouldering this responsibility is both
natural and appropriate. Add freezing cold weather into the mix, when house
training is at its most unlikely to succeed, and you have the ingredients for
stress. Just remember that a new pet for your child is actually an added
responsibility for you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 14.0pt;">There are exceptions to this however, and
well worth considering seriously. You may want to consider adopting a pet.
Older dogs and cats can adapt to new households far more easily than an
8-week-old puppy. The most gratifying part of adoption is watching the extreme gratitude
that these adopted pets show. They know they’ve been given another chance on
life, and they are grateful.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJe7SJfKajC4X3qD_nzUQSxc0sD7DPXVwmYerCTo0RKLX5qISlh4CA5Wz-sziM9ZxNx2Q-gbyN9QXVRy1aKauDguLBY01Q5rz1SItxzH-zEWMpvdVdsQdGSKi3YSa9JEmctcSXHbmBjdQ/s1600/adopt+a+pet.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="225" data-original-width="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJe7SJfKajC4X3qD_nzUQSxc0sD7DPXVwmYerCTo0RKLX5qISlh4CA5Wz-sziM9ZxNx2Q-gbyN9QXVRy1aKauDguLBY01Q5rz1SItxzH-zEWMpvdVdsQdGSKi3YSa9JEmctcSXHbmBjdQ/s1600/adopt+a+pet.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 14.0pt;">As long as we are aware of the impact the
holidays has on out pets, we can keep them safe and relatively free from
stress. Do your best to keep them on the routine to which they are accustomed,
and the celebrations won’t be as stressful to them. Locking them away from the
action is often a viable alternative, especially when the excitement is just
too much for them. Their reactions to this new stimulation are normal, so
separating them from the crowd should not be viewed as punishment, but rather
as protection. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Spread the joy this holiday season and
include your furry friends. Just be sensitive to their needs.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Jay Remer - Canada's Etiquette Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00540919687490904924noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1256091010690523457.post-20928408726830751132017-11-13T04:31:00.001-08:002017-11-13T04:31:34.412-08:00Speaking Up About Harassment in the Workplace<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiojEhBWhFrMSHMSrQD2bMqXnt7R58M1l-UkTRrqgOExrJRAmwhPmCWulz9ABmxfvl3CqHXb1loDkHLBibG-aN88o5oNRiT4VHvYOV_86XAuYwnMyvufvVAYCg3TX9SuXY-d1fj10-B6As/s1600/stress+at+work.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="186" data-original-width="271" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiojEhBWhFrMSHMSrQD2bMqXnt7R58M1l-UkTRrqgOExrJRAmwhPmCWulz9ABmxfvl3CqHXb1loDkHLBibG-aN88o5oNRiT4VHvYOV_86XAuYwnMyvufvVAYCg3TX9SuXY-d1fj10-B6As/s1600/stress+at+work.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 14.0pt;">The workplace has recently been thrown into
the spotlight for all the wrong reasons. Sadly, harassment of all kinds is
front and center, especially after the revolting sexual harassment of the likes
of Weinstein and Cosby, to name but a few. The emotional and mental stress endured
by so many hardworking men and women in the workplace today is shameful. The
headlines in both print and broadcast media are filled with news about the
injustices that run rampant in the workplace today.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 14.0pt;">One of the most important ways to make a
real change in this situation is by supporting a conversation among all
stakeholders, encouraging as many perspectives as possible to come forward and
debate civilly. The time has finally come when normalizing the abnormal and
unacceptable needs to come to an end. Participating in open dialogues about
subjects where differing opinions abound, such as the myriad political and
social worlds, is a real challenge for many of us.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 14.0pt;">It’s important to keep a realistic
perspective in focus for our children. Protecting children from the cruelties
of life is a natural instinct. However, I see a great opportunity for us to
teach our children and one another how to engage in healthy, age appropriate
discussions. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I received this message
from my sister today that expresses my thoughts.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #1d2129; font-size: 14.0pt; letter-spacing: -.1pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“Another word on this matter... not
to be a downer, but a realist... and maybe even an instigator to action. I said
yesterday that these shootings have put me in touch with a part of me that grew
up under the shadow of the Cold War and the Civil Rights Movement. As a child I
felt that not my parents, not my teachers, not our leaders could keep me or us
safe. But no one talked about it. I certainly didn't. But I felt it. I carried
it. Unspoken. In fear. In worry. In helplessnes</span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-size: 14.0pt; letter-spacing: -.1pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">s. That is trauma
to a child; make no bones about it. “<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-size: 14.0pt; letter-spacing: -.1pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Fast forward
to today. How many children are walking around feeling as if they are not safe?
That the adults can't keep them safe? And to add insult to injury, with
complete inaction on the part of the leaders in this country, just imagine how
hopeless children might feel about the whole situation. Is this what we want
for our children? If ever there was a time - PLEASE do not be complacent on
this issue. Our children are watching and counting on us.<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-size: 14.0pt; letter-spacing: -.1pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">In the words of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. - “We are
now faced with the fact that tomorrow is today. We are confronted with the
fierce urgency of now. In this unfolding conundrum of life and history, there
"is" such a thing as being too late. This is no time for apathy or
complacency. This is a time for vigorous and positive action.”</span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Most of us have been able to sit on the
sidelines as bystanders for a very long time. Unfortunately, this apathy has
become our comfort zone. We need to reengage with our own lives and with our
own communities. The courage required to come forward is considerable. As more
and more people do take that brave and responsible first step, they clear an
open path for other people to do the same. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Opportunities abound to bring greater
emotional awareness and intelligence into the workplace. Exposing injustices
and inappropriate behaviours is a good place to begin. Expressing respect for
each other is a cornerstone of emotional intelligence. Unfortunately, this
culture of respect and of living our lives authentically is only a glimmer of hope
for most people. Primarily because of the fear of retribution, most people do
not come forward. Fortunately, there is a growing number of people who act
independently or join movements such as #MeToo. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 14.0pt;">There is no doubt that the exposing of
toxic work cultures within corporations is difficult. However, there is
momentum building, pushing people to do the right thing and embrace diversity
and inclusivity. That same momentum will also give us all a voice we have kept
silent for too long. With practice, we will develop civil discourse, where disagreements
develop healthier perspectives rather than create adversaries. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size: 14.0pt;">If you are experiencing harassment of any
kind while at work, I strongly encourage you to speak up. Organizations are
taking harassment, especially sexual harassment, very seriously. These horrible
behaviours are not gender specific, nor are they industry specific. They are
pervasive throughout the workplace at large. Would we not want to leave to our
children a world in which the workplace does not tolerate harassment, and that
if it rear its ugly head, there was a support system in place to assist?
Perhaps teaching our children by example might be a great place to begin.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Jay Remer - Canada's Etiquette Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00540919687490904924noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1256091010690523457.post-43674386825640941992017-08-16T13:07:00.001-07:002017-08-16T13:07:46.573-07:00How We Can Use Civility to Beat the Bullies<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Between elected officials and organizational leaders,
bullies rule the world today. Thanks to the false sense of power that fuels the
egos of these bullies, society feels the heavy burden of injustice</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14pt;"> and discrimination
on many levels. There is little or no time set aside for dialogue or discussion</span><span style="font-size: 14pt;">. Every day we see news headlines demonstrating this
sorry and frightening state of affairs. Because of the fear rhetoric used by
today’s leaders to gain and maintain control over their employees and
constituents, most of us have decided to step out of the fray and become
bystanders. </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14pt;">Some of us try to evaluate a situation. Most, however, prefer not to
engage in a discussion because of fear of retribution. </span><span style="font-size: 14pt;">This is exactly what helps perpetuate the culture of
bullying so prevalent in the workplace today.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGVIgjI_llZh_nQipz8X1avFB2SS6uAteDc8Vqo2J88fNoXCBHdmikeMagw8XgQwhB4VMVZX8u7srvvv18RxXiTtm2BPomPDKwAFkHJAcYBamknHSprviNhe4MOvCsj2dbvqypNHRY1JY/s1600/bullying+and+civility.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1054" data-original-width="1600" height="210" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGVIgjI_llZh_nQipz8X1avFB2SS6uAteDc8Vqo2J88fNoXCBHdmikeMagw8XgQwhB4VMVZX8u7srvvv18RxXiTtm2BPomPDKwAFkHJAcYBamknHSprviNhe4MOvCsj2dbvqypNHRY1JY/s320/bullying+and+civility.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Now is the time to stand up to these unfair practices
and take action. If we stopped to put ourselves in other people’s shoes; to
understand what it feels like to work in an environment where the deck is
stacked in favour of aggressiveness; to feel oppression; and to carry these
feelings back to our homes and families; we would understand why we become
frozen and unable to know what to do or how to do anything to make things
better.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">I have written about The Golden Rule and <a href="http://todaysetiquette.blogspot.ca/2017/03/common-sense-and-common-courtesy.html" target="_blank">Common Sense</a>
for many years. We are inching closer and closer towards an emotion revolution, where injustice will no
longer be tolerated. We understand more clearly that diversity, inclusion, and
equality are essential to living the fulfilling life we all deserve – as a
right, not as a privilege.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">The question arises – what steps can we take to make a
change? How do we go about moving from the awkward and uncomfortable position
of the bystander into the role of resistor and activist? Naturally, most of us
are reticent to take on such a mantel for fear that we will lose our job, our
friends, and even our families.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">These changes must begin at home where our support
systems are usually the strongest. As we build foundations of trust within the
family, we can continue them into our communities. At work, leaders must
understand that their employees’ engagement and productivity is dependent upon
the support they are provided.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">High stress jobs, such as the armed services
(including the RCMP), healthcare, and education, require far more support than
they presently receive. We have all heard the old argument that people who
enter these professions should know ahead of time that the jobs are high
stress. This argument does not mean that appropriate support is not essential. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">No one is going to argue that first responders and others are very
susceptible to PTSD. For those of you unfamiliar with living with this painful
condition, I can assure you that the agony endured on a daily basis is at time
unbearable, hence the hundreds of suicides victims commit annually. Both
psychological and physical support must be improved and increased significantly
to realize any real improvement. The change needs to be systemic; the old
bandaid approach no longer is sufficient.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjASIHexOqron4B1aQ9s1V-eQOxql89VTaaLTnmTmXSb4hshFxlIRqh4N9Phf8u8DFwEU1UHQUcEqIq5qwgzU683G46AGdkKlFMsUdwTcKecWNjU1ri48L4tAtu4NevUBK0nnvHsCFdRLo/s1600/bystander.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="225" data-original-width="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjASIHexOqron4B1aQ9s1V-eQOxql89VTaaLTnmTmXSb4hshFxlIRqh4N9Phf8u8DFwEU1UHQUcEqIq5qwgzU683G46AGdkKlFMsUdwTcKecWNjU1ri48L4tAtu4NevUBK0nnvHsCFdRLo/s1600/bystander.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Most of us have experienced or have friends who have
experienced difficult situations at work. These difficulties can take on a
whole range of manifestations, none of which are enviable. What we can do about
these issues is found within the Six Pillars of Civility, a framework I have
devised that incorporates the essential life principles needed to create and
maintain a sustainable and healthy society and a psychologically safe
workplace.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Our elected officials and corporate executives must
take the lead and must be held to the highest of standards. Inclusivity should
be a worthy a goal of any healthy organization; where diversity is valued as
highly as profitability; and where equality is no longer a necessary subject of
discussion because it is automatic.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">I was criticized lately for a stance I took on the
radio about equality. I stated that I was baffled by the need to have such
discussions anymore. Not everyone agrees with me, nor does everyone believe
equality is realistic or appropriate. Some early scientific studies suggest
that men and women have clearly differing skill sets, thus justifying such
companies as <a href="http://www.dailywire.com/news/17400/google-hiring-less-white-men-progress-robert-kraychik" target="_blank">Google</a> to hire a widely disproportionate number of men for
programming and other high tech jobs. Nothing could be further from the truth.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">The work currently being carried out at <a href="http://ei.yale.edu/" target="_blank">Yale University’s Center for Emotional Intelligence</a>
provides quite a different and enlightened understanding of the subject. If we
are to achieve cultural changes within organizations, we must treat everyone
equally and with respect. Our communications must be honest and open. Remember
the etiquette rule espoused by Stephen Covey in his book <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Habits-Highly-Effective-People-Powerful/dp/1451639619/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1502898650&sr=8-1&keywords=7+habits+of+highly+effective+people" target="_blank"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People</i>,</a> where he advises us to
never speak ill of someone not present to defend him or herself. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Human beings have many more shared qualities than
divergent ones. While both are essential, focusing solely on our differences
allows us to fall into the trap of tossing out the baby with the bathwater. I
suggest that we must refocus our attention on positive virtues, on encouraging
others to achieve their best with the support required for the job at hand, and
on insisting, either vocally or by the written word, that fairness must replace
bias; and that humility must replace bullying; and that honesty and civility
must replace the distractions, diversions, and denials that allow bullies to
run the show. The time to begin is now – first with us, then with our families
and our community, and next in our places of work. Imagine what a different
world we would be leaving our children and grandchildren!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--StartFragment-->
<!--EndFragment-->Jay Remer - Canada's Etiquette Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00540919687490904924noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1256091010690523457.post-77985515044566782052017-07-20T06:14:00.002-07:002017-07-20T06:14:32.281-07:00BARBARA COLOROSO CALLED OUT FOR PERJURY - BULLYING AND PLAGIARISM.<span style="text-align: justify;">In a
recent </span><a href="http://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/after-admitting-to-perjury-bullying-expert-barbara-coloroso-concedes-defeat-in-legal-battle-with-co-author-300487325.html" style="text-align: justify;" target="_blank">press release</a><span style="text-align: justify;">,
it was revealed that children’s bullying expert Barbara Coloroso perjured
herself during her six-year battle to discredit corporate bullying expert
Andrew Faas over alleged plagiarism.</span><br /><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
I
have followed this intriguing disruption to the world of civility for most of
its duration. I, in fact, wrote a <a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=1256091010690523457#editor/target=post;postID=185102694142021881" target="_blank">blog,</a>
The Consequences of Bullying, about part of the irony surrounding the
allegations several years ago. Mr. Faas and Ms. Coloroso sued one another – Mr.
Faas for non-performance, and Ms. Coloroso for plagiarism. Shortly after
posting the blog, I received a letter from Ms. Coloroso’s lawyer demanding that
I retract the blog, claiming it contained false and defamatory statements. I
removed the blog until the matter was settled in court, and now I reiterate that
I stand by my previous statements. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
Although
the real underlying cause for this prolonged and exhausting battle remains unclear
to me, experience in working with such dynamics tells me there is more here
than meets the eye. The sad irony is that the very subject upon which Ms.
Coloroso has based her entire professional career has become her downfall. What
kind of message does this send to our youth today? It is no surprise that
anyone who is an expert in bullying was more than likely a bully themselves. However,
if one is going to offer advice and counsel on bullying, they would likely be
more effective if they were healed from the underlying cause or causes that
precipitated such behaviour in the first place. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Bullies can be rehabilitated; and if they are going to walk
the talk, this is imperative. The lack of civility in both the home and
workplace today has reached epidemic proportions. We need the leaders in the
field of civility and bullying to help people take the necessary steps to
change their ways. Identifiable steps and procedures to make these changes are
emerging through the good works of many colleagues in this growing field. In
his recently released book<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">, </i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">From Bully to Bull’s-Eye: Moving Your
Company Out of the Line of Fire</span></i>, Andrew Faas provides a number of
practical steps and words of advice on what to do if you are suffering in a
toxic work environment. In my upcoming book, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Six Pillars of Civility</i>, I will share a variety of exercises
and principles to help make the dramatic change necessary to live a more
fulfilling life – both at work and in your personal relationships.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
But
the demoralizing undermining of the work by the examples set by Ms. Coloroso and
her colleagues at The Workplace Bullying Institute - recognized industry
experts - severely hinders the work of those of us working in the trenches to
bring about the Emotion Revolution that is so badly needed today. How can we
recommend in good faith that people turn to such industry experts if these very
experts are going to revert to employing bullying tactics to live their own
life by? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
Hopefully
the exposure of this court case will clearly communicate that bullying appears
everywhere, and nowhere is it acceptable.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
Jay Remer - Canada's Etiquette Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00540919687490904924noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1256091010690523457.post-60031899083828362632017-05-10T07:06:00.001-07:002017-05-10T07:06:41.585-07:00Finding Your Passion – at Fifty!<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">I recently lead a small group discussion with the goal
of discovering how to reinvent yourself after the age of 50. One of the members
of the group was just turning the magic number and I was hired as a sort of
“dog and pony show” birthday present as part of a weekend celebration. I loved
the idea and jumped at the opportunity. Having never been engaged
professionally before to explore this topic, and with no prepared notes in the
“can”, I decided to let my instincts lead me through this exercise.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">I felt very comfortable with my decision, as
experience has shown me that I access much better information when I speak extemporaneously.
After all, this is a subject I have been exploring and writing about for years.
Lucky for me I had a fourteen-year advantage of life experience on my side. Turning
50 had me changing life gears, so sharing the steps I took myself seemed like a
safe avenue to explore in this venue. Thankfully this proved to be just the
ticket.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">The sun had all but set, and a blizzard was blowing
wildly outside. There was little chance of distraction from the topic at hand. As
this very informal and comfortable group settled into their overstuffed chairs,
I began with a little background about me, and the journey I had taken. I had
never met any one of these folks before, and the energy in the room was warm
and intense. I knew I would need to stay focused in order to navigate a path
for them to follow with clarity. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Once I finished my introductory remarks, I tossed the
ball out to the group, asking them to let me know what each of them wanted from
the brief time we would spend together. Two main themes quickly emerged. One
was how to find one’s passion. The other was to discover what we are truly committed
to – a surprisingly elusive treasure. As with most discussions I lead, I
incorporate the Six Pillars of Civility framework into the process. In this
particular journey the pillars that seemed most significant were those of
compassion, awareness, gratitude, and encouragement.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Compassion for ourselves gives us permission to
explore both new and hidden territory. So much happens to most of us at this
time in our lives, that we may experience feelings of selfishness – how can we
justify focusing on ourselves? We are so used to raising a family and
establishing a career, that little time has been available to us for ourselves.
The feeling can be very unsettling, so we must have compassion, and allow ourselves
to follow our inner voice. That is how we will ultimately discover our true
passion.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxl0l1fHjjYUIDUAAqhdPsIUVa2_dq4DpZ0wfIAaCKseqnPiGGWUK-eUsbjR0Za96KVL3z9bzJCYAiHRzicRFBon9sW5So5JF9QaiOM4zM0KD-irMQIIziDEiBL3jSMwKfd7cgq7GH5ho/s1600/self+compassion.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxl0l1fHjjYUIDUAAqhdPsIUVa2_dq4DpZ0wfIAaCKseqnPiGGWUK-eUsbjR0Za96KVL3z9bzJCYAiHRzicRFBon9sW5So5JF9QaiOM4zM0KD-irMQIIziDEiBL3jSMwKfd7cgq7GH5ho/s1600/self+compassion.png" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">We must expand awareness. We need to emphasize the
importance of paying attention. This is the next step in the process of
discovery. When we open our eyes to infinite possibilities, the “yes buts” will
fall away, allowing us to consider alternatives we had been putting off, and
putting off, and putting off. We can begin to imagine how following our passion
will satisfy us and influence those around us in a positive way.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Gratitude for the opportunity to take the next step
along our path balances our joy of discovery and acceptance. And encouragement
allows us to give ourselves a pat on the back. After all we’ve been putting
others first for many years. The passage into our sixth decade provides us with
a chance to put ourselves first for a change. We need to develop the confidence
to enter these uncharted waters safely and gracefully.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Understanding what we are truly committed to is one of
the toughest challenges we will ever encounter. On the surface it may seem simple,
but if it were so simple why is the result so elusive; and why has it been so
elusive for so many years? The answer lies in a quote I recently ran across by
Brigitte Nicole: </span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #10131a; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">"All of life's lessons
you have been through are only a preparation for what is about to happen in
your life. If the experience brings you joy, much wisdom has prepared you for
this journey. If it brings you sorrow, remember lessons will keep striking you
at your weakest point because that's what needs most strengthening."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #10131a; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">Simply put, we must look below the surface at the
feelings the situations in our lives elicit to discover where our true
commitment lies. Do we empower feelings of joy or put more of our energy into
avoiding the feelings of sorrow? Whichever one we choose – and it is a matter
of choice – we will find ourselves in circumstances that require us to support
that choice. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">Whatever changes we decide to make in our lives, we must learn to
understand that these alterations require schedu</span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">ling “me” time. We need to explore how to best find our revised paths,
and discover fulfillment in our different roles. I hope we can all take the
time we need for ourselves. In the end, this is the ticket to civility in our
lives and in our communities.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Jay Remer - Canada's Etiquette Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00540919687490904924noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1256091010690523457.post-58723391120511090542017-05-03T05:05:00.001-07:002017-05-03T05:05:17.603-07:00Treating Mother Nature With Respect<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US">As a young boy, I had the privilege of attending summer camp for
eight weeks every year for five years. As for many of us who had similar
opportunities, this was my first time away from home. I remember so much from
that time as though it was only yesterday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The camp was Pemigewassett, located on Lower Baker Lake in Wentworth,
New Hampshire. As an eight year old, being thrust into an environment with
total strangers, no hot water, and no en suite facilities was a surprisingly
enjoyable experience. I loved every minute of it, and am happy to report the
camp is alive and well, being managed by the same families that have owned and
managed it for over 100 years!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhih5PIOCW6CBKBBg_azkcAn8doovgDurKkxW3KyV_Cv5MxV2XtXrG2jMFv3vmGtS9kGosZKO3fUCNtjbr7Ixil9xSuy8PQn0OJEMzv0T-B1AR3OuQ7xUT7aYbKzkn_2oUiH898mraJg4Q/s1600/Pemi+wilderness.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhih5PIOCW6CBKBBg_azkcAn8doovgDurKkxW3KyV_Cv5MxV2XtXrG2jMFv3vmGtS9kGosZKO3fUCNtjbr7Ixil9xSuy8PQn0OJEMzv0T-B1AR3OuQ7xUT7aYbKzkn_2oUiH898mraJg4Q/s1600/Pemi+wilderness.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">I gravitated towards the Nature Lodge, where activities centered on
collecting, identifying, and even breeding everything from Luna moths to Fern
fronds to rocks and minerals. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I also
enjoyed canoe trips down the Connecticut River, climbing the Presidential Range
of the White Mountains, and many overnight camping trips. Although these
activities were far from a boot camp like experience, they were opportunities
to learn about respecting the natural environment – both its awesomeness as
well as its fragility. We learned to leave a campsite in better ‘nick’ than
when we arrived. Gaining a working knowledge of pitching a tent, building a
campfire, and digging one’s own ‘toilet’ were all a part of these formative
years.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">There is no question in my mind that learning to respect our natural
surroundings as well as our fellow human beings enhances our enjoyment of life.
Climbing steep mountains carrying a seemingly heavy backpack to enjoy the view
from the top was a foreign concept to me as a small boy. I doubt seriously if I
would have enjoyed the experience as much were it not for the patches of wild
mountain blueberries we stopped and munched along the way. We were careful not
to take them all, not to trample any of them, and most importantly to savor
where we were at that moment. Learning to appreciate all of what was
immediately around me was very rewarding and has stayed with me my whole life. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEha9nWfETvfaNTZsbVyll0-F8l3CFRLlNSNFYwebh_fMXaZw13lrlT6UP-xCxTz7el1su-Qj2Zk0JmvLsJZzwsDEuatwcjURzG3d5m-67fDXyfqxKYUuEuWiliR6G56M5-wAGLrI7Muia8/s1600/kids+hiking.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEha9nWfETvfaNTZsbVyll0-F8l3CFRLlNSNFYwebh_fMXaZw13lrlT6UP-xCxTz7el1su-Qj2Zk0JmvLsJZzwsDEuatwcjURzG3d5m-67fDXyfqxKYUuEuWiliR6G56M5-wAGLrI7Muia8/s1600/kids+hiking.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">Eventually we had to stop for the day and pitch tents or lay hemlock
boughs on the dirt floor of an open lean to where we would sleep in our
sleeping bags. We hiked in small groups of about a dozen, a counselor leading
the way, and each of us carrying our fair share of the load, which consisted of
enough food for the whole trip, assorted paper products, cooking pots, pans and
utensils, a first aid kit, and a lot of candy bars. The more we matured through
the summer months and enjoyed weekly outings; we couldn’t help but be in awe of
the natural world. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">Granted we learned best with the reward system of cleanest campsite
gets the candy bar. But the main thing is that we learned to understand what
stewardship means, why it is important to follow the rules, and how to do both of
these things well. Perhaps having an appreciation from a young age of just what
a responsible outdoorsman is sparked my keen interest in conservation. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">Cleanliness is next to godliness in the woods, too. Today’s
guidelines are far more stringent than they were 50 years ago. The principle
remains the same. Leave your footprints with care; plan ahead, leaving no stone
unturned in your planning; and take away every scrap of trash and pick up any
that comes across your path.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">From a pure etiquette point of view, follow the “when in Rome” rule.
Before heading into a park or down a marked trail area, be sure to stop and
read the signage explaining what hikers and campers may and may not do. This is
important for our own safety and for the protection of the wilderness
inhabitants. And, don’t forget to stop and smell the roses. The quiet that the
deep woods afford can become alive with an orchestra of night sounds. This
mingling of voices is magical. We are responsible to ensure these wonders of
the natural world are here forever. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
Jay Remer - Canada's Etiquette Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00540919687490904924noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1256091010690523457.post-597194196085493482017-04-29T07:19:00.001-07:002017-04-29T07:19:56.767-07:00Your Home is Your Castle<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">A friend regularly posts a thought-provoking ‘Question
of the Day’ on Facebook, challenging many of us to focus on a certain
perspective we might have on some aspect of life. Recently, his question was
“What makes a house a home?”</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Like so many of us, I grew up in a house, not a home. I
have been developing a clearer understanding about the differences between the
two, and just how important it is to be aware of and understand those
differences. Houses can be very lonely places, whereas homes are usually
vibrant.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">My answer to the question was life, love and few house
rules. These three ideas underlie principles of respect, trust and
encouragement. With these as the foundation, a house will transform into a
loving nurturing home, where children can grow up with healthy physical,
psychological and spiritual strengths. They will also grow up to be tomorrow’s
leaders.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkk_Da5FZ1_559MGYDDoKOdYgj-sEo9oMSYEG2jXsEx9uGLv133j27NqktHAHu6vJtvYtHOoaE6EF3B9t8zuqHa0_bDLYq1-fdiDTu_mW-J_Mdrn0V9fak8nc1JZLmowPZSjMRE8RtHsE/s1600/a+house+is+not+a+home.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkk_Da5FZ1_559MGYDDoKOdYgj-sEo9oMSYEG2jXsEx9uGLv133j27NqktHAHu6vJtvYtHOoaE6EF3B9t8zuqHa0_bDLYq1-fdiDTu_mW-J_Mdrn0V9fak8nc1JZLmowPZSjMRE8RtHsE/s1600/a+house+is+not+a+home.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">I am often asked questions about children returning to
the nest, visitors overstaying their welcome, and family who have decided your
vacation pad will suit them just fine for an extended holiday. The question is
usually something like, “How do I tell them I don’t want them to come back
home, without hurting their feelings?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>“How do I tell the brother I have not seen in several years that he can
come for two days, but not a week, without hurting his feelings?” Or, “We don’t
want unattended guests, or their pets in our vacation home because they make
things so uncomfortable for us and are ill behaved, without hurting their
feelings?” This tendency of being a doormat to the world is not required to
live a fulfilled, good and happy life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">I answer these questions by stating that honesty is
the best policy. If you cannot be clear in communicating with your friends and
with your family, something is very wrong. Unfortunately, this is the case for
many of us. We have busy lives – all of us. We have limitations on our time,
and we deserve our privacy. We have friends who act disrespectfully when they
come to visit, and we don’t appreciate that. But something blocks us from saying
no. What is it?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlAdEgarUtlvAgcQln7SrOvb_bojYqYMfV55Ni2B52LVZ1RR2O88Tlv3FNFwsSYVCtZBPPIDTE6ZK4bbX2tyh2OEmanG8p54cAzN2sGo3SyXurCMnBrkY2o5vknBHAF2BomWur-LsJDkw/s1600/no+way+jose.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlAdEgarUtlvAgcQln7SrOvb_bojYqYMfV55Ni2B52LVZ1RR2O88Tlv3FNFwsSYVCtZBPPIDTE6ZK4bbX2tyh2OEmanG8p54cAzN2sGo3SyXurCMnBrkY2o5vknBHAF2BomWur-LsJDkw/s1600/no+way+jose.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">We are afraid we will lose their friendship; they will
think we are rude; they will think we don’t care; and on the list goes. The
fact of the matter is that if everyone used some common sense and followed The
Golden Rule, we wouldn’t anticipate and feel these fears nearly as deeply. From
an early age, it is important to teach children that there should be no
secrets, and that expressing how you feel is important and essential. There is
no other way for people to know how we feel, and how their actions affect us
unless we speak up. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnTUsmmdj6zrAhtuHshv3gnsjTY-iZgx81g-X1KSg3Wlq9d4XMrDJhsWXZ3t7lu7GsumNhl3P5ORstEKGlqgNEs1eCwZvhfqNRHMWdcKOvg8gS7yM5PrshRkuaQKiILaiKeDFTxtLaBy0/s1600/fortune+ball.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnTUsmmdj6zrAhtuHshv3gnsjTY-iZgx81g-X1KSg3Wlq9d4XMrDJhsWXZ3t7lu7GsumNhl3P5ORstEKGlqgNEs1eCwZvhfqNRHMWdcKOvg8gS7yM5PrshRkuaQKiILaiKeDFTxtLaBy0/s1600/fortune+ball.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">There will be plenty of times when we may not be in
the mood to entertain or to share our vacation home. But, there are also times
when we need to reconsider our position. After all, we raise our children to do
as we do, for better or for worse. This is the way societies are formed and
maintained. We follow the leader, more or less. Sadly, in this politically
correct fast-paced world, slowing down to reconsider our position is easier
said than done. Therefore, a conscious effort must be made. It’s a reasonable
practice to consider putting ourselves in the other person’s shoes. </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;">But don't presume
to wear those shoes before you have clearly stated your position as a host and
friend.</span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Sharing our home is part of what makes a house a home.
However, our home is our castle, and as such, deserves respect first and foremost.
If we do not have guidelines for how we run our household, chaos can easily
ensue. </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;">Having an open door policy might be a generous gesture,</span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"> until you suddenly want your privacy. </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;">Parameters for
privacy are the basis for creating and maintaining a home that is comfortable
for its occupants, and will be welcoming for those visiting. </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSYMJdFUxNoWe-oxrR_9VN2RX18NfVOyijLx-26UQothmWpAFGQI4W-GqSUOCMYTBJNrsihtNSm0hYF-JOOeM3GPxtAPYoHfSwnZJoRVxd8DJ0pXvQFWGN8qLo7AeNnKuWPOwrGyT6qLA/s1600/ardrossan.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSYMJdFUxNoWe-oxrR_9VN2RX18NfVOyijLx-26UQothmWpAFGQI4W-GqSUOCMYTBJNrsihtNSm0hYF-JOOeM3GPxtAPYoHfSwnZJoRVxd8DJ0pXvQFWGN8qLo7AeNnKuWPOwrGyT6qLA/s1600/ardrossan.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;">Once you have
invited guests, remember that </span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">people
appreciate house rules more than we realize. With guidelines in place, we don’t
need to wonder or second-guess how a host likes things done. If, for example,
you don’t want shedding dogs on your furniture, and your son’s new girlfriend
owns a hairy dog, you need to be firm and explain that the dog is not to be on
the furniture. If you don’t want to make your two daughters share a room in
order to accommodate a visiting relative, be very clear </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;">and tell the
prospective visitor(s) that you cannot accommodate them</span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">. You should feel no shame or guilt for adhering to
your rules. </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;">You must learn to say NO. The anxiety of unwanted visitors and
houseguests is just not worth being sick over or put out.</span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Mutual respect, caring for one another, and
encouraging everyone to do their best is what makes a home welcoming, safe and
nurturing. Like any community, no matter how large or small, households run
more smoothly with house rules. When everyone lives by the rules of the house,
there is very little room for misunderstandings, fears or resentments. The home
becomes and remains a place for compassion, good times and love. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Jay Remer - Canada's Etiquette Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00540919687490904924noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1256091010690523457.post-66483201996531741872017-04-26T04:30:00.001-07:002017-04-26T04:30:38.429-07:00Email Etiquette<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
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<span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK15;"><span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK16;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Settling into 21<sup>st</sup> Century
technology is not without its challenges. It’s not as though developing the
computer is akin to discovering a new variety of apple (no pun intended); life
on planet Earth has changed forever. With big changes come long periods of
adjustment. We are currently in the throes of just such a period now. Just when
we think we’ve got everything figured out about one aspect of technology,
another new issue springs up. <o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK15;"><span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK16;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Such is the case today with email
etiquette. Because emails travel almost at the speed of light – who knows,
maybe even faster – many of us have come to believe that responses to our
emails should be equally lightening fast. This is, however, simply not the
case. And this annoys some people almost to the point of distraction.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3UbTNYnOZWC2M6YiH20SL3H_OiG2248BIVCrR5XroaNsRlXc1-0erJvACcJFsK0A_90F_oIy4u7MoX873tPJBqNCzDdKhlTj_UEeG-UtOdmEs4HCwiDM0gOQF5K-2g2ShSCHhpYUlC8c/s1600/lightening.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="78" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3UbTNYnOZWC2M6YiH20SL3H_OiG2248BIVCrR5XroaNsRlXc1-0erJvACcJFsK0A_90F_oIy4u7MoX873tPJBqNCzDdKhlTj_UEeG-UtOdmEs4HCwiDM0gOQF5K-2g2ShSCHhpYUlC8c/s320/lightening.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK15;"><span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK16;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14.0pt;">I received an email recently from a close
friend who was pointing out that I hadn’t responded to the emails he had
sent recently. Although this was at face value a simple statement of fact, I
could feel the irritation this friend was harboring because the anticipated
response was not forthcoming in a manner that he felt was timely. Whether his
intention was to lay a guilt trip on me or not, that was the effect it had. As
I have suggested many times before, we must take responsibility for our
feelings, so laying blame on my friend for my feelings of guilt is not
appropriate. This exchange does however point out a dynamic that may
recalculate our approach to email.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK15;"><span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK16;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Here are a few thoughts. <o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK15;"><span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK16;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14.0pt;">If you are going to have an email address
and you are going to share it with friends and colleagues, you need to be
prepared to monitor it. Allowing emails to build up unanswered is annoying in
some cases. Not all emails need a response. I get a lot of emails forwarded to
me by friends thinking I will be entertained. I receive numerous announcements
and news flashes, none of which need any action at all. I do receive emails however,
which do require a timely response, sometimes an immediate one. Those are the
ones I focus on, especially if my day is full. Although such emails often
require more attention than I can immediately give them, a quick response
letting the sender know that their email has been received, and will be
answered as quickly as possible, will usually relieve any anxiety.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAwn4Jvyby2f6hDskYSgC6Uq-ajziplUBlUuwsONTG1nkQ-UH6FHHDzp8EFBpO3BW54tngXLZJiYvnsa-C6Ny4DeFocPZM6_0oAO-IJn3wjOP_VM3VLAJ7Ux_2pJCdqAnvNGJfjrcRPpc/s1600/timely+response.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAwn4Jvyby2f6hDskYSgC6Uq-ajziplUBlUuwsONTG1nkQ-UH6FHHDzp8EFBpO3BW54tngXLZJiYvnsa-C6Ny4DeFocPZM6_0oAO-IJn3wjOP_VM3VLAJ7Ux_2pJCdqAnvNGJfjrcRPpc/s1600/timely+response.png" /></a></div>
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<span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK15;"><span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK16;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Don’t give people ‘stuff to do’. Unless you
are giving a directive because that is your role as boss, mother, coach, etc.,
we cannot be expected to just drop everything we are doing to answer an email.
By lowering our expectations on when or how an email we send out will be
answered, we relieve pressure from both sides. Remember that we have very
little idea of what is occupying someone else’s time. Chalk up tardy responses
to more pressing demands.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK15;"><span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK16;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Important emails should still be handled as
quickly as possible; even if it means writing to tell the sender that a
complete response will be coming shortly. Emails are here to stay. Adjusting to
a life with emails is the reality for many of us, but not for all of us. Those
of us who skate through life without the ‘benefit’ of technology are not to be
scorned. Frankly, I find it refreshing. But for those of us who are entrenched
in technology, following established protocols is best. For example, we should
try to respond to emails within 24 hours of their receipt. Any communication
initiated by email should be answered by email, including business
correspondence, invitations, and solicitations we wish to acknowledge.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK15;"><span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK16;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Those of us who delight in sharing emails
about matters of personal interest, political views, or breathtaking
photography should not expect a response, nor is one required. If we no longer
want to be subjected to such emails, we need to speak up and ask that we be
removed from future email lists. Although we may be reticent to request such
removal for fear of offending the sender, keep in mind that you are the one
being offended in the first place. Alternatively, deleting such emails or
tossing them into your junk folder may curb the deluge of such emails. There is
always email spam or blocker, too.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK15;"><span style="mso-bookmark: OLE_LINK16;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14.0pt;">We are all still adjusting to this new form
of communication. As with most things in life, intentions are rarely meant to
be inconsiderate, annoying, or inconvenient. Knowing that a mailbox full of
unanswered emails can produce anxiety and irritation in us, let’s do our best
not to add to the problem. Think before pressing the send button!<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
Jay Remer - Canada's Etiquette Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00540919687490904924noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1256091010690523457.post-39875785650233337722017-04-22T06:27:00.001-07:002017-04-22T06:27:24.786-07:00Rushed Communications<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">A friend
overheard a telephone conversation I was having. I ended the conversation with,
“OK, bye”, and promptly hit the hang up button, thus ending the call. My friend
then said to me that I had hung up the phone too abruptly, not allowing the other
person to say goodbye properly. A short discussion ensued. I quickly pointed
out that one of the results of hearing only one side of a conversation is that
you are not in a position to make such a judgment. My rather tenacious friend was
relentless in his insistence that I had been rude. My response is to write this
column, which addresses the dynamic of communication.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Clear
communication is crucial to maintaining a healthy society. In our rushed
schedules, clarity can take a back seat to efficiency. While efficiency has its
place, if our message is not clear – and more importantly, if our tone is in
any way dismissive – our efficiency will have been wasted. Overhearing a phone
call does not provide us with the perspective to be able to assess clarity or
tone. Nonetheless, my friend raised a very good point, and in rerunning the
overheard conversation in my mind, I suddenly realized that perhaps I had been
too quick with hanging up the phone, thereby not allowing the person on the
other end of the line to offer his own goodbye.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">When speaking
on the phone, we cannot see facial expressions, hand gestures or any body
language. Therefore, we rely on spoken words, and the tone in which they are
delivered to arrive at our interpretation and understanding of the message. The
written word presents even further challenges to clarity because we cannot hear
the tone of voice. The importance of tone cannot be overstated. There are even
software programs designed to measure tone. Delivering a message with
compassion and understanding can sound far different from one filled with
disappointment or sorrow.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">We know how
we feel when we receive an email or letter leaving us pondering the real intention
of the message. We scratch our heads and often overthink what the author had in
mind. Given the way the human brain is wired for safety and survival, our minds
tend to reel with negative thoughts, almost none of which ever actually happen.
Similarly, how often do we hang up the phone, still wondering what just
happened during that call?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">When we speak
on the phone, we need to be more mindful of completing our thoughts clearly,
and to be sure the other person has the same opportunity. Take a few moments to
say a proper goodbye. After all, communicating by telephone is different than
by email, text, or letter. Many of us receive unwanted solicitation calls and
we have slipped into the habit of the quick hang up. We must be sure not to
engage in that same speedy exit with our friends or business colleagues.
Slowing down can be challenging. However, if we want to be sure our intentions
are properly and appropriately conveyed, slowing down can be very helpful.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">We must also
focus on the clarity of our message. Have you noticed that people don’t quite
understand what you mean? They have trouble following directions because the
instructions could be interpreted in more than one way. We make the assumption
that people understand what we mean without giving them the full story. This is
another example of just how dangerous assumptions can be. Furthermore, not only
are directions not followed correctly, in order to make things right, we must
invest our time – sometimes quite a lot of it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">This is a two
way street, to be sure. If someone asks me to complete a task, it is incumbent
on me to be sure I understand the directions. “Oh, I thought he would have
known” is a dangerous presumption. Only we know what is going on in our minds.
We do not know what others are experiencing or thinking at the moment unless
they tell us or we ask. Likewise, if we do not communicate clearly what is on
our mind, no one will know. We are not psychics. We may have intuition, but
this is not a substitute for clearly stated facts. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">We will
miscommunicate from time to time. We are human beings and making mistakes is
part of our condition. When we do mess up, we need to have compassion for
ourselves and for anyone who has been swept up in the whirlwind. We need to be
forgiving and make allowances for misunderstandings that result from acting on
assumptions. Let’s not be so quick to find fault with how others may have ‘done
us wrong’ when their intentions were likely quite the opposite. Most
importantly, we must take responsibility for any misunderstandings. Taking the
high road, and shouldering more of the responsibility than we may feel is
actually ours, will place us in a position of strength. From here, we can bring
things back in balance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Jay Remer - Canada's Etiquette Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00540919687490904924noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1256091010690523457.post-78225281895708526592017-04-15T10:39:00.001-07:002017-04-15T10:39:53.133-07:00Funeral Etiquette<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">A reader sent me the following request. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“My husband passed away last month. At the wake, some
people in the line talked to me excessively long, and two ladies even talked to
each other about their inconvenient shopping experiences, while I just stood
there. Can you please address this touchy subject?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMZRqpf9WSVk7qSvTVL7sSKiIm0FyuMbVHRTUFAhkqcEuUUkMxu89lFJtg_rG0N6m_1fhlvVvcd7KKxOqFF3XmaHh9j5LRXsG-r62W1a6HIexQ58REC8sdmPEooOLRWvB4DqiuuRbTlbw/s1600/funeral+flowers.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMZRqpf9WSVk7qSvTVL7sSKiIm0FyuMbVHRTUFAhkqcEuUUkMxu89lFJtg_rG0N6m_1fhlvVvcd7KKxOqFF3XmaHh9j5LRXsG-r62W1a6HIexQ58REC8sdmPEooOLRWvB4DqiuuRbTlbw/s1600/funeral+flowers.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Funerals can indeed be challenging. Some people behave
appropriately and others do not. </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;">Many people just don't know what to do at a
wake or funeral. Their nerves take over and behaviour can become inappropriate.
Others have never been schooled in proper funeral etiquette. Think about why
you are at the wake. For instance, no one is interested in any inconvenience
you may have endured to attend this wake or funeral. Personal feelings and or
experiences need to be put aside for the moment. You are present to pay your
respects to the deceased and his or her family.</span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Because grieving is such a personal experience, we each
process it differently. This may contribute to the fact that no two funerals
are ever exactly alike. There needs to be certain flexibility for people to
express their emotions in their own personal ways. This flexibility needs our
respect and support, no matter how different it may be from how we may handle such
situations in our own way.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoOd9NEPt1K1pY7TnHx1Xob-GURm-uqeJJyeL_XVbNl2wwKzgtmA379nuQSQcAPVbM0UCtiGbxea28XoopLkqhJx5qoUZbhsqjeIkxSIjYbBheQW8bBOeZ4FDuzLrB-jy_m29Z0rmU8_0/s1600/grieving.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="129" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoOd9NEPt1K1pY7TnHx1Xob-GURm-uqeJJyeL_XVbNl2wwKzgtmA379nuQSQcAPVbM0UCtiGbxea28XoopLkqhJx5qoUZbhsqjeIkxSIjYbBheQW8bBOeZ4FDuzLrB-jy_m29Z0rmU8_0/s320/grieving.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">When we attend a wake, we should turn our primary attention
to supporting the family and close friends of the deceased. Mixed with this is
our own sorrow and the grief we may be experiencing. Supporting friends and
expressing our condolences, and saying our own last farewells makes for a very
emotional time. We need to try to be respectful of the immediate family, and
resist turning attention to ourselves.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">When in line to express our condolences, we should keep
conversation to a minimum and very quiet. Focus on memories and the
relationship we will miss. We are part of a larger community of well-wishers
and mourners whose collective strength helps buoy the family in this time of
need. Therefore, pay attention to the progress of the receiving line while
progressing through it. </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;">There is no reason to hold things up for idle
chatter of a personal nature. Keep your remarks to one or two sentences and
move on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Receiving lines are not the
place to share heavy emotional thoughts. Remember there are likely many people
behind you to want to pay their respects. Try not to do anything to add to an
already difficult time.</span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDQyqowElwrGWtv6ZQCAVEjuLWHe3aMhnojubMkoN_gan9RvJW0ym_B4LZE8OXzyDElR_BSz9mCZ6ysmqaGzwvgpGxzLhundSGfchPnbUBA1wqviUZbyfhvmq7OGRRSpBXoNp0_tZpwHU/s1600/receiving+line+at+funeral.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDQyqowElwrGWtv6ZQCAVEjuLWHe3aMhnojubMkoN_gan9RvJW0ym_B4LZE8OXzyDElR_BSz9mCZ6ysmqaGzwvgpGxzLhundSGfchPnbUBA1wqviUZbyfhvmq7OGRRSpBXoNp0_tZpwHU/s1600/receiving+line+at+funeral.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Other considerations make for a respectful celebration of
life. Whether the wake or funeral is in a church or not, our level of respect
should remain the same. How we dress is one of the several ways we can show our
respect. I hear a lot of negative comments on the way people dress. Clean
clothes are a must - a suit and tie for gentlemen, and a dress for ladies. Blue
jeans, t-shirts and ball caps have no business at a wake. Ladies should wear a
hat when inside a church, but men must never wear one indoors. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;">There can be
extenuating circumstances. It is acceptable not to be dressed in your best if
you have left your job to attend a wake or service, and changing clothes is not
an option. Paying one’s respects is more important than what clothes one wears.
However, if the option of dressing appropriately is possible, take the time to
make the effort. People appreciate it.</span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFBvcTz2e22VYdvpLFvcFB_vozYXEmFDeNBQbQ8NcWMvjPTDrSyK45QSTtvm5TEfkxMO4gr5EIs28VJqnfclaRphIwUpGEScvaKhOfzJRTrdlUho8O08OA64_UKs8fvg-X4blskIha7l0/s1600/funeral+attire.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFBvcTz2e22VYdvpLFvcFB_vozYXEmFDeNBQbQ8NcWMvjPTDrSyK45QSTtvm5TEfkxMO4gr5EIs28VJqnfclaRphIwUpGEScvaKhOfzJRTrdlUho8O08OA64_UKs8fvg-X4blskIha7l0/s1600/funeral+attire.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: justify; text-autospace: none; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;">Talking in church
is a bad habit and ought to be avoided. A funeral is a time for quiet
contemplation not a chance for a chat with a friend.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A funeral represents the time set aside by
the family to honour the person who has died. Socializing can certainly be done
after the service. Be sensitive to the people around you and be quiet. </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Snapping photographs and taking selfies at a wake or funeral
is also not appropriate. I recall this faux pas made the headlines during a
well-publicized funeral. Again, be aware of how disrespectful drawing attention
to yourself is during a service honouring a deceased friend. Wakes are solemn
affairs. Most people attending are in a contemplative state of mind.
Interrupting this quietude is insensitive and rude.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjshAzOOo3cC2TefhbsdCJSqskP1a2NQOz3SNcewLKYzbcvfAvaILPaWE5YeJd2b9xIjWkrjGo3Hecfc_Lk8rpyt_NXa_gWiHlYvtl4yHpS6qVqGQUOVZb2TAdcYZJ_atmhGC288AOEGGs/s1600/quiet+zone+funeral.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjshAzOOo3cC2TefhbsdCJSqskP1a2NQOz3SNcewLKYzbcvfAvaILPaWE5YeJd2b9xIjWkrjGo3Hecfc_Lk8rpyt_NXa_gWiHlYvtl4yHpS6qVqGQUOVZb2TAdcYZJ_atmhGC288AOEGGs/s1600/quiet+zone+funeral.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">A handwritten note is a great way to convey sentiments of a
personal nature. If you write a note ahead of time, there will likely be a
place for condolence cards at the wake. Cards may also be sent after the
service. Unlike thank you cards, which are sent out immediately after a gift is
received, condolence cards may arrive a month later. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Our thoughts are first and foremost with the bereaved. Our
own mourning is appropriately done privately. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
Jay Remer - Canada's Etiquette Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00540919687490904924noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1256091010690523457.post-70584443385259028152017-04-06T15:47:00.000-07:002017-04-06T15:47:59.546-07:00Cell Phones and Texting are Hazardous to Safe DrivingWorth repeating. This is a column that I wrote a number of years ago, but never appeared on social media. Today, texting still kills.<br />
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Between an influx of
questions to my inbox about cell phone etiquette and texting, and the latest
plea from Oprah Winfrey to stop using these devices while driving, I decided to
address this important issue from the point of view of doing the right thing.
As I have repeatedly expressed in previous columns, etiquette is based on
common sense. In the case of texting while driving, this is a total lack of
common sense. Anything that distracts a driver of a motor vehicle from his full
attention to the road is dangerous, and potentially deadly. It is dangerous to
him, to the passengers in his car and to any other passengers in other vehicles
sharing the same road. I think we can all agree that safety should be the
highest priority when we are behind the wheel of a car. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">It has been proven
that the brain's activities are focused differently when multi tasking. Talking
on the phone qualifies as a task and is not related to driving. Some will be
quick to argue that there is no difference between speaking on a hand held
phone than talking to a fellow passenger. This is incorrect and ridiculous. The
person with whom you are speaking on a cell phone is probably unaware that you
are driving; is certainly unaware of the road or traffic conditions; and is
totally incapable of being another set of eyes for you while navigating the
roadways. The person sitting in the car can stop talking or call attention to
something missed by the driver i.e. a potential hazard, etc.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">When I was gathering
content for this article, I asked a friend about his feelings on this subject. He
said that he agreed with the basic premise, but that he had a business and he
had to talk on the phone, or he would lose business. He also went on to inform me
that it is against the law in many places to pull off to the side of the road
except in the case of an emergency, and that I had better check my facts before
passing out advice. What he failed to mention is that it is illegal in many
places to use a hand held cell phone while driving. I smiled and nodded
thankfully and conceded that he had raised some good points. Then I began to
think about this whole picture because it was flawed in my mind. The scary part
of his arguments is that they are what many cell phone users feel - they are entitled
to do. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">This is where I
employed common sense and the wisdom and pleas of Ms. Winfrey. We’re really
dealing here with a matter of priorities. Life itself does take precedence over
everything else. Very few people have business, which is so urgent that a phone
call cannot be returned or handled later in the day. If you are responding to a
medical emergency, natural disaster, or catastrophe and must get in touch with
the necessary parties, these are legitimate reasons to have to use a cell phone</span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #e72625; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">. </span></b><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Surely one's life or the life of other people would never, ever be
considered less important. I think this points out one of the biggest problems
of cell phones and PDAs today. People suddenly are so important that their
phones must be answered immediately. This is actually a snap shot of self-importance. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">People have a distorted sense of reality. As a result of this egotistical view
of the world, we show incredible disrespect for those around us. Last week I
discussed the rudeness of private conversations in public places. Now you can
add cars to the list of places not to have conversations on the phone. This
extensive use of cell phones is indicative of how out of control society is in
terms of its humanity.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Texting takes
distraction to a whole other level. It is not dissimilar from fidgeting and
looking for hidden controls or anything else that takes your eye off the road.
I experienced this first hand while driving and looking for a heater control
while driving on an icy road. It took literally a split second and the Land
Cruiser was off the road and upside down in a ditch. We were lucky that no one
in the car was hurt or killed. I will tell you that experiencing such a
traumatic accident first hand changes a person's point of view in a hurry and
permanently. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCNGwvfEdIjBLDPPcfBezB5pOjydTpIrwuS-9muRP2doxJBLFeXsjMUZXo1PjxcWjuTcrTg-5S2YOAnyE5sIpQ4vR3Ji_pkl4F7Fh4ArfVkkoUL1y1Ih6WayhrcAGD5Ml2WYpbHQZHixE/s1600/black+ice+accident.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCNGwvfEdIjBLDPPcfBezB5pOjydTpIrwuS-9muRP2doxJBLFeXsjMUZXo1PjxcWjuTcrTg-5S2YOAnyE5sIpQ4vR3Ji_pkl4F7Fh4ArfVkkoUL1y1Ih6WayhrcAGD5Ml2WYpbHQZHixE/s1600/black+ice+accident.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">One friend of mine
says that if someone wants to drive by themselves and fidget with the radio, or
chat on the phone that is one thing; but if she's going to be in the car, it's
not going to happen. That's one viewpoint, but does not take into account other
travelers or the precious life of the driver. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 15.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">It's clear that these
thoughtless and reckless driving distractions and behaviors will be outlawed
soon. However, it does not take a law to engage common sense. Think about how
precious life is and how many things we have for which to be grateful. Think
about how our actions can affect others. If we take the time to think about
these simple truths, respecting one another on the roadways is pretty easy.
Sadly there are many people who dial up the phone or begin texting as soon as
they get in the car, much the way some people light up a cigarette, chew gum,
apply mascara and drink coffee while driving. Unfortunately, the phone is even
more dangerous than cigarettes. Maybe one day soon common sense will be more
common and we will do the right thing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Jay Remer - Canada's Etiquette Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00540919687490904924noreply@blogger.com0