Monday, February 20, 2012

Politeness Abounds If We Just Let It

I have just been on a very enjoyable road trip visiting friends and family, and managed to squeeze in an overnight trip to New York City to take in Mary Poppins with my good friend William Hanson. He was over from England orchestrating a Guinness World Record for the world’s longest curtsey – which consisted of a chorus line of about 80 men and women executing a curtsey that lasted a full 5 minutes. Just prior to launching off on my train journey from the City of Brotherly Love to the Big Apple, I was informed that New York had been named the rudest city in the entire world by none other than Travel and Leisure Magazine. I quietly thought what a perfect challenge for William and me – two gents making their livelihood consulting on and teaching good manners!

As it turned out, it was no challenge at all! Everyone along the way treated me so nicely. I even thought to myself, “Ain’t life grand!” It all began with a shoeshine man at 30th Street Station in Philadelphia who made me feel as though I were his only and most important concern. Little did he know how important his job is to my life. A well-polished pair of shoes speaks volumes about one’s self-respect. The lady who sold me my train ticket was professional and courteous and smiled as I spoke with her. I naturally smiled back. I was off on the right foot now! I thankfully had a business class seat, which in this day and age means a quiet car! And it was quiet! All of the passengers abided by the rules, far more so than they do in Britain! This enabled me to catch up on correspondence and make reservations for restaurants.

I walked through the hustle and bustle of New York’s Penn Station noticing how seemingly unhurried other passengers were. There wasn’t the anticipated pushing and shoving so common in such places. I walked to the Hotel Lola, a brand new midtown gem and was treated like an old and revered customer. The staff was perfect and even succumbed to my request for free Internet. The room was ready early, allowing me extra time to walk leisurely uptown to meet my lunch date at Michael’s, a great restaurant I was experiencing for the first time. The owner and the manager both greeted me so cordially and made me feel special. Believe me, when you pay $10 for Club Soda, they should! The waiters were great, the food was great, and the lady who dined with me (a native New Yorker whom I had never met before) was enchanting.

Without going into every other detail of my 24-hour whirlwind trip, I will simply say that not one soul spoke a cross word or exhibited any behavior deserving of the moniker “world’s rudest” anything! Naturally I thoroughly enjoyed Mary Poppins, a very good Broadway musical, and the rest of my time spent with my most trusted and enjoyable colleague. Even with delayed trains and pouring rain, all was good!

As I was gratefully wallowing in the warm feelings I had, I began to wonder why the experience was so flawless. I came to the conclusion that perhaps it was because I was nice to all of the people with whom I met or spoke with. I was focused on having a good time and enjoying myself, and they all fell right in step.

This can happen to all of us, most, if not all of the time. So much of our happiness depends upon how we connect with other people. Taking the first step to be cordial and respectful of everyone, whether they are shining my shoes, serving me a meal, or simply engaging in a pleasant conversation, sets the tone for the connections we make. I have noticed when I am rushed and discourteous, that behavior is mirrored back to me with great consistency.

Planning ahead and being well organized goes a long way to ensuring your day goes smoothly. Life is full of surprises. Take for example the fact that I managed to leave my passport and wallet at the hotel, a fact I discovered upon my return to Philadelphia. Keeping focused on a positive outcome (next day FedEx) and not tearing around like beheaded poultry worked wonders.

Staying positive, keeping focused on respecting others, and being grateful for everything others do for you can and does make or break one’s day. At least it does for me. I hope it does for you, too!

4 comments:

  1. You've absolutely hit the nail on the head, Jay.

    Emit positive energy, and it will be returned to you and (for the most part) protect you from negative energy. Think negative, and bad things will happen.

    When I was first marrying in 1975, the priest in the compulsory marriage prep classes told us one thing that really stick in my mind to this day: "If you want to be happy, spend time with other happy people."

    That simple statement has been a leading force in my life.

    Have a wonderful day, and please continue to inspire us.

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  2. Jay, if I comment here, you'll think you have a stalker :)

    But what the heck - from my perspective, being polite isn't rocket science. During my tenure educating the intellectually challenged, I reminded them of one very important thing that would carry them through life. It didn't matter if they didn't grasp concepts of maths, sciences, language arts, etc. So long as they were polite, with the please, thank you, excuse me, and I'm sorry, all would be well in their world. It's far less taxing to be kind than to be mean-spirited. The latter requires a certain degree of planning and plotting which sucks energy away from the more important stuff of life and living.

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  3. I couldn't agree more. Maybe it's genetic, but I have always tried to follow "the Golden Rule" and, as a result find that I enjoy encounters with almost everyone I come in contact with. A smile and a kind word go a long way - especially in NYC (greatest city in the world)! Unfortunately it's the rude tourists that perceive New Yorkers in a negative light. Just give them a chance and always remember to order your glass half-full!!

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  4. I've always been struck by how polite NYCers are too. Especially compared to Torontonians!

    I think it's because in NYC you will get called out on your rudeness, there is an unspoken code which allows for that many people to live in such a tiny place. In Canada people are quiet and will put up with rudeness...which just creates more rudeness.

    I am always telling people not to confuse loud with rude or quiet with polite!

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