Setting a good example for children has been a core theme of
this column for over four years. How nice to be able to switch the roles and
allow our children to take the lead occasionally. They do this by reminding us
how pure, good and simple life can be when viewed through innocent eyes.
My friend Dave Veale described some experiences he had when
reminiscing about his son’s first year in school. I think this bears sharing.
He outlined five basic lessons he recalled from his own life experiences when
he was just a lad.
Learning can be fun. Although this seems to be most
efficiently accomplished when we are young sponges, learning accompanies us
throughout our lives. The nice thing about learning when we are older is the
choice of what we study is often our own. Nonetheless, we need to have
compassion for ourselves, as it does take longer for certain kinds of
information to sink in. Learning in a positive environment makes the process
much more fun!
Community is important. Making friends and helping one
another learn various skills in a collaborative way lays a good foundation for
the future of our sustainability as a society. The simple skills of making
introductions, shaking hands, saying please and thank you, and sharing are all
important as we grow and find our way independently in social and business
arenas.
Remember to play on a daily basis. Life is all about
balance. We know we can’t play all the time, but the more balance we can introduce
and maintain in our lives, the happier we will be, the better our relationships
will be, and the more energy we will have. If only we could work, play, and nap
the way we did in kindergarten! Why not?
Seek out positive teachers and mentors. When we are young,
there are those who influence us in positive and negative ways. We have little
idea of who will leave the most lasting
impressions. We certainly do remember those who taught us good things and as a
result hone our abilities to find others like them as we move along our path.
It is also worth remembering as we grow, we too become mentors and teachers to
all whom we meet, especially our children.
It’s okay to be scared of new unknown experiences, but don’t
let fear get the better of you. We are born with a flight or fight instinct. To
be cautious of the unknown is only natural. Through time, we begin to discern
safe situations from dangerous ones. We are also born with a need to connect
with other people. So great is this need to be connected that our judgment of
what is safe and what is not can become clouded if faced with the possibility
of abandonment or being alone.
Growing up can be fraught with bumps in the road, the full
range of emotions, which are all new to us, and the usual learning about
boundaries and the effect we have on other people. We are in fact introduced to
most of these experiences in kindergarten. A supportive home environment allows
parents to have conversations about the many confusing situations children
encounter as they grow into adolescence. But we need this support system
throughout our lives. We will continue to develop as we age and experience the
many wonders life has in store for us.
Just as in school where we learn who we prefer to spend out
time with, so too in the world outside of school can we make these choices.
Looking back on the many “first times” we did things in our lives, we are often
transported back to our childhood experiences and remember the best of times
along with the worst of times. This is how we gain our sense of self.
Developing self-esteem and self-respect is the quickest way to learn the value
in respecting other people and all living creatures.
Take a few moments to reflect on your experience as a child
during the early school years and be amazed at how much you really do recall
from those exciting days when learning was what we did. On balance, we still
learn things in much the same way. Hopefully we will never stop!
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